The focus for the 12th week (Mar. 20 – Mar. 26) of the 52 Weeks of Gratitude Challenge was:
Your Favorite Personality Trait
Among other things like resilience, grit and willpower, honesty is easily my most favorite personality trait (this one was too easy). I do not recall if I used to tell lies as a child, but I vividly recall what put me on the path of total honesty.
When I tell people that I don’t lie, they hardly believe me. But I do not blame them because we often expect others to be like us. That is, people who lie tend to expect that everyone else lies too.
I am not that naive, but I expect people not to lie to me, because I do not lie to people. But in today’s world, that is a very high expectation from people. They say that honesty is not cheap, so do not to expect it from cheap people. I think whoever said so is right!
That is not to say that there are not honest people around. At least, I can count a few people who’s words I can blindly rely on. Whereas, the list would be endless if I should count those people who’s words I cannot rely on without further confirmation.
How I Lie
It’s not like I never told a lie. It’s just not my style to tell lies. And to prove to myself that I really don’t lie, I started keeping records of my lies back in the year 2013. I call it my “Book of lies”.
This is the first time I’m publishing any part of my Book of Lies, so please appreciate the fact that I’m sharing a very private piece of my life with you.
As you can see, some of these lies are what people will call “white lies”. But a lie is a lie, no matter the color or size. However, I’m glad that being more mindful has helped me reduce these lies. Even so, you can see that I tell an average of 1 lie per month. Impressive, right? Well, not really!
Thanks to an increased level of mindfulness, my lies have become more impulsive than premeditated. Premeditated lies are the worst kind of lies, and the kind I hate the most! I find it difficult to tell a lie, knowing full well that it is a lie.
Most of the lies I’ve told recently were impulsive. What I mean is, in the confusion of the moment or with adrenaline gushing through my veins… I say the first thing that comes to mind without even thinking about it (like a self-defense mechanism).
“How many yams did you eat?” and I say “only 3” in order to emphasize that I didn’t eat much. But I actually at 4! Sometimes, when the rush is over, I correct myself. Nevertheless, I still have improvements to make with regards to “impulsive lies”.
How It Began
More than a decade ago, I put myself in a situation. Yes, I didn’t say I “found” myself in a situation because I ended up there because of the stupid decisions I made. Even though honesty may not have started with me from the beginning, integrity did.
When you decide to steal, and you get caught, have the balls to own up to your actions. That’s how I described integrity in the early years of my life. So in the same manner, I take responsibilities for my decisions, both wrong and right. So back to my story…
I put myself in a situation and I found myself having to make a decision: to confess, or to keep quiet. Nobody but God and myself, were aware of what I did. Even so, I had the urge to want to confess! Why? I have freaking idea why… I just wanted to get the load off my chest!
But I told myself one thing. I convinced myself that whatever happened after my confession, was what was meant to happen. I had no expectations, actually. So I summoned the courage to tell me cousin the wrong that I did.
To my greatest surprise, she wasn’t mad! As a matter of fact, that confession drew us closer, and that was the real beginning of our relationship! After that experience, I always told myself that whatever will happen, will happen. If telling the truth will put me in trouble, then I definitely deserved it. Else, telling the truth should lead on to good and better things.
This happened some years ago and I have lived my life in the same way. Better still, I try to live my life in such a way that I should not have to decide whether to tell a lie or not. If there is something that I may have to lie about, I would rather not get involved. If I know I’m not supposed to do something, I simply would not do that thing. That way, I would not have to decide whether to lie about whether I did it or not. It’s just an easier way to live.
That was the beginning of my journey down the honest path. Today, I could be honest to a fault, even when I know it will get me in trouble. And do you know the best part about being honest all the time? You do not even have to remember what you said before, because the truth never changes, and neither would your answers.
People who choose to lie, or believe you have to “know how to lie” often make me feel good about telling the truth. I am not trying to say that I am better than they are. I am just saying that we all have a choice, and I choose to be honest more often than not.
Your turn… What’s your favorite personality trait?
Please share in the comments section below.
7 things I was grateful for during the 11th week of this 52 weeks of gratitude challenge:
- Thank God we could afford to buy a new blood sugar test kit
- Thank God I was able to cash the money, after 4 attempts over 4 days
- I thank God that I can eat most things. Foreign meals and dishes from other cultures or countries, do not really affect my system. It’s good
- I’m grateful to God that the operation was successful yesterday, and that this project is going as expected
- Access to free, unlimited internet (even though for a short while), feels good once again. I am thankful that I can use “free” internet once again, after about 8 months
- It was nice seeing History again. I thank God that he was able to make it to see us today
- I’m thankful that my uncle was able assistance us
View last week’s post: www.kheme.tk/2016/03/naskhanym-someone-who-inspires-me