Relationships Thoughts

How We Let Hurt Kill Our Relationships

Sometime ago, I talked about how silence kills relationships because people let it happen. This time, let me talk about about how we let hurt kill out relationships, after first damaging them.

So I met this girl back in 2008/2009, but the state of our current relationship started around summer of 2010. She has implied that we’re soulmates at least 3 times since we met, and I could easily call her my significant other.

We have such a special relationship, that even her boyfriend is jealous lol. In fact, he has given up on trying to break us apart. Because she knows how important my place is in her life, she won’t budge give in.

Nevertheless, our relationship was about to take a turn for good pretty recently.


The Hurt

I was usually the first person she would call, about every and anything. I knew more about her, than any human being alive did! She tells me everything about everything. But on this day, we were arguing over a mistake that she made in her relationship.

To cur a long story short, I may have gone overboard with scolding her, especially when she was in a very emotional state. Then she said it!

You the most insensitive person she ever met!

Whaaaat!? The shoulder you’ve been crying on for the past half a decade, is now the most insensitive you ever met!? Really? Wow! Just wow!!

I was heart broken! It felt like hot knife searing through my heart! But perhaps I was wrong.

She was very emotional, and I wasn’t saying anything to help her situation. All I did was make her feel worse than she already did.

Now even though I apologized for not being so sensitive at that moment, and even though she’s already forgotten that she called me that (she’s just a happy bird that only lives in the now)… I carried the hurt for a few more days!


The Damage

Out of fear that she will call me insensitive the next time I try to advise or scold her, I did not want to speak with her again. This could have been the end of our very “special” relationship. Everything could have changed from this point on!

But one morning I had to give myself a pep talk. Like… Kheme, seriously, what is it? Just because of a one hurt? She too was hurt that day, and carried it not to heart. Why then should you let this come between us?

So I picked myself up and count it now as nothing. I took it as another one of those “shit happens” moment in or relationship. I don’t even have to discuss anything with her, and just let it slide. Besides, she probably didn’t mean what she said that day, right?

Can You Relate?

Does this sound familiar? Sometimes our significant other may do or say something that will hurt like a knife. And yes, it’ll hurt like hell! But ask yourself if really, they had any intention of deliberately hurting you.

Look back at how far you’ve gone down that relationship. Ask yourself if that one hurt is worth throwing it all away. If you’re honest with yourself, more often than not, it isn’t worth it.

* * * * * * * * * *

This is how some of us let one hurt ruing our relationships for ever! It’s really not worth it, so have a think again. Do not allow hurt kill your relationship!


PS: And by the way, I’ve moved on, and now joke about her calling me the most insensitive person she knows. We’re good now 🙂



Your turn… what experiences have you had like mine? How did you handle it? Please share in the comment section below. Thanks!