It still feels surreal that two years have passed since my elder brother departed from us. He was my childhood hero, you know. It felt like a never-ending nightmare that I could not seem to wake up from. It was the fact that I would never see Tobore Omuta on this side of eternity, again. Two years later and the pain is no longer as raw as it was on the 19th of February 2021.
Although they say that time heals all wounds, I have come to realize that this is not accurate. Time does have a way of healing, but it is not a passive process. It is what we do with that time that counts. And for me, I am grateful for the support and love of family, friends, and strangers who have helped me during this time.
Grief is not only a mental burden. It also takes a toll on the body. And the journey of healing can be long sometimes and unpredictable in itself. At times it felt like I was taking one step forward and three steps back. But I learned to forgive myself and to keep pushing forward, while my body and mind heal. I have focused on the positive moments and cherished whatever time we had. At the same time, I am finding ways to keep his memory alive and joy in life regardless.
I know that my brother wants me to keep living and find happiness in my own way. So I have hope and optimism for the future, honoring his memory and cherishing all we had together. Even though he’s not here, his spirit lives on in me. And until I heal completely from this loss, I know that finding joy in life is what he wants for me.